The Fall of Atlas

by Bodi

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1.
00:40
2.
Verse 1: Bodi] I’m getting older and I hate it Life’s a game, and I’ve already played it And I’ve debated throwing in the towel To a fate already written to a reaper on the prowl, but I can’t close my eyelids Without faces that allowed me to write this Looking back with a smile and a nod And the silhouettes of you, my reminders of God And no question, the reflection I see’s Made up of you, there’s no me Without a history of loss and sacrifice Met with a strength that defies any afterlife And that’s running through my veins One day I will be the same Fade as a piece of the puzzle Until then smile in the beautiful struggle… [Verse 2: Bodi] When I was little I would die to grow up Now here we are and I’m begging it to slow up Watch dreams and reality collide Spend time picking up the pieces of this sky Try to reconcile what I become With what I hoped I’d be when the journey begun And know I’m passing through not lasting to forever, true To find a way to happiness it’s better late than never, you Don’t know what you got til it’s gone Sometimes miss right til you meet wrong But I can read the past in my palm And find solace in the storm before the calm Nose to the grindstone until I’ve grown breathless Shoulder to the wheel of diameter endless The fight song rings the sweet sound So I’m lifting up my voice with the darkness falling [Hook: Lotte Kestner] Down, down, down I’m never falling I’m never falling Down,down,down [Verse 3: Bodi] I'm still in love with my best ex-girlfriend Reverends telling how a bloody mess world ends Past loves getting different last names Mapped goals, now a film's black frame Roll the credits, but never get to edit out The ugly parts And rusted hearts And stumble starts This struggle sparks A thunderous march, an ending unknown Fist to the heavens, sending up a poem Grandpa’s on his death bed, grandma’s fighting tears Hands held recalling all the best of hiding years Dad’s hair’s gray, mom’s mind’s slipping See each other once or twice a year and time’s missing And the people that I know become the people that I knew Because the feeble life we drew upon the sky is passing through Testament to the magic found In the pulling of the tide til the waves come crashing down [Hook] [Bridge: Lotte Kestner] If that doesn't wind you up The road isn't long enough And that's what's running through my veins One day, I will be the same [Verse 4: Bodi] Cody just call and told me Mike died I can hardly see through my watercolor eyes He inspired me since I learned to write Until my ink dries he will always be a guide At 25 try to cope with the fact As the days pass more I love aint coming back That's the come and go and being caught in undertow From the drop into this show to the final slumber, so It's time to go always sooner than expected There's not a part that will ever be perfected Still we march with our hands, connected Self in the iris of everyone else reflected - and tested always But all waves reach the shore Return to the source from where we began Land on our feet, higher we stand now Welcome to the rise and the fall And the journey through the gallows to the hallowed winding halls And all along the story through the darkness The crowning glory and the name on the park bench It's a tale of triumphs and trials Courage for the fear and tears with the smiles And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I…sleep [Bridge 2: Lotte Kestner] The one thing I can say about The way the time runs out Not gonna save my thoughts, I'm I'm gonna say them now The things I want to see The ones I care about The way I feel for you I'd love to spell it out The memories of every One who has led me here The things I carry with me Aren't going anywhere
3.
[Verse 1: Bodi] Not every storm cloud’s got a silver lining But you gotta have the darkness to see the sun shining And sometimes shit just happens And all you can do is control your reaction It’s all passin, the beautiful and tragic It’s an act of vanishing magic When lines in the hourglass sand are drawn And you can’t take a picture, it’s already gone This goes beyond carpe diem Now’s all you have til the eyes closed leavin Aint always meanin in the plotline schemin Too busy breathin that the truth is make believe in Yourself, but, take the body shots Fight like a bull in a china shop It’s never gonna stop Life is a test until the quiz goes pop to stand [Hook: Bodi] Up, there’s no shame We all fall down like drops of rain to Stand, up, I do the same May forget the face, but they won’t forget the name when you stand (2x) [Verse 2: Bodi] Some days you’re the pigeon, in others the statue But you can’t control what attacks you Black blues how you’re gonna be left Sometimes. You can’t stay on your chest Never expect a hand to pull you vertical Vertigo riddles, you can’t take it personal When people would rather see you fall than fly Why you think there’s so many bullet holes in night’s sky? Shootin stars, they wish on, cause they don’t wanna be The only victim of the prison of gravity See kids rip their wings out their vertebrae Just to stick below the clouds with the other birds of prey Cause that aint freedom Freedom is refusin the bullshit they’re feeding Making the most of the world before leaving And marching to the sunset no matter when you’re leaving to stand [Hook] [Verse 3: M.anifest] Yo, see, I go hard on this journey down for that dope sound Not an attorney, but legally I stay bound To the words I utter, I don't stutter now Even though a legion of [?] trying to bring me down The road less traveled, the challenge unravels And the last straw coulda broke the back of the camel I could swim across the English Channel Emerge dry as a drub and then put on my flannel Pants, or maybe trousers, yep, the beat arouses Moving on strong make the weak say wowzers We build houses filled with many dreams and goals Some moments sugar free like sweet and lo Still we on a roll trying to make the honor roll An African noble and admirable I could put my own soul as collateral Fo sho, I pay calm on what I owe
4.
[Verse 1: Bodi] At ten, I thought about severing my wrists Not because I wasn’t loved – it just is what it is Learned life’s love since I was a kid Grew to realize father time was the bitch It’s all good, sky holds fist Building castles in the clouds brick by brick Foundation on the ground inch by inch Crossing off my laundry list with each wish Chin and chest both positively charged So there aint a thing wrong with taking some scars March forward til the sun’s in my hands Stand on my own two, manifest the promised land, and I will never give up/I got a lust for the minds I touch Fight from beginning til the bubble goes bust Regardless of the cards I’ll produce a royal flush, cause Enough gold in the yellow brick road Couldn’t get me to fold - I’m goin all in A mission to be giving back more than I’ve been given Living in a world where too many stop livin' At the very beginning, so they don’t start swimming Water’s fine, you just gotta get in The shoulders of giants, blind Osiris Let the Iris find this Midas life in front of your eyelids [Hook: K.Raydio] Growing up I wished I could’ve been somebody else I was too scared of myself, but I know If I could change a thing, it would be for somebody else Because it’s all that I know [Verse 2: Bodi] At ten, I decided god wasn’t in the sky But that don’t mean I didn’t think it was alive I saw it in the eyes of every human being All of em angels even if the bell don’t ring I was a snot nosed kid Saw a lot of cheap shots, took em on the bridge And try though I did, they often got the best of me But giving up is the key for disaster’s recipe I could never be free Til I seized destiny sitting right in front of me Picked up a pen and started on these manuscripts Oratories of this captain’s battleships When the storm came to sink my vessel The life boats were scripted in pencil Successful only if I provide light To the little kids hearing the words I write They say the sky’s the limit Well if it is, lets stretch it to infinite And give our all from the day that we crawl Enough strength to shatter that wall Impossible isn’t in the vocabulary Those who say it is are mad that they carry A shoulder with a chip so they fix to rip you quick Give a gift and lift em up until the sky is kissed [Hook]
5.
[Hook: Bodi] And I’m, fly flyin away And I, I don’t know what to say And I’ll, be home someday I hope you understand and stay And I’m, fly flyin away And I, I don’t know what to say And I’ll, be home someday I hope you understand my ways [Verse 1: Bodi] So I start to pack my bags and she's begging me to stay around But, how you gonna keep a rocket on the ground? Speed of sound I'm movin, leave this town superhuman Dreaming snoozing, breathing losing, cruising like a missile movin' Til I - reach the summit, and start to catch my breath A part of me's depressed, I ain't on to the next Steps to the door of the double wide, my troubled eyes She catch, and says, "you only hit the road to run and hide How you think I feel, bed half-freezing Half the time you're here, then you're thinking of leaving Coulda kept the kid, made you stay at home But didn't have the means alone to raise her on my own Just go - know I've always been beside you You're the one that chose to leave me behind you Death is what you chase, life is the race Rocketman, hope you know it's lonely out in space…" [Hook: Bodi] [Verse 2: Fashawn] Yeah, I tell her to stop her crying It's like she's on another plane where I'm not the pilot Must I remind you this is love it ain't rocket science But it's just as complicated and hard to digest, reason why I'm stressed Sitting here alone All she wanna hear is I'm home, instead it's my iPhone Even when we're together we're on different time zones She keeps my mind spinning like a cyclone While I'm gone she replied why don't I bring her along Or put a ring on her arm, time to ring the alarm When she think I'm out chasing skirts I'm stressing out, gaining clout, trying to shake this Earth Besides the fact I'll be gone til September Taking off by December She gon' need a nigga to keep her warm for the Winter And me, I'll be packing my luggage for another day Out of space baby, please don't give my love away [Verse 3: Bodi] Ok. Ok-k-k-k Cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon And this little boy grew to a man on the moon Sooner than I know I'm back home from the road Stole a part out my soul so it's easy come, harder go Put the key inside the lock But it's not really working, turn it counter to clock Is this the right spot? Knock a couple times Some dude opens up that I don’t recognize, “Hi" "Who the fuck are you, what you doin in my house?" He says, "You hit the road and your girl got a spouse." Sock him in the mouth, barrel through the door My new ex comes in, her boy on the floor She says, "You couldn't do it and you knew it all along When I needed you, you were ghost and gone" I tell her, "never again" she whispers, "you're wrong Do what you do and put your message in a song…"
6.
03:47
[Verse 1] Alright - this is how it starts
 Spark from the flame lit between two hearts Emerge from the dark, then march to the light One way ticket, to reunite with the night And every day's a lottery Stoned when our number's called or win another sunrise One wise lesson I learned the hard way's Live like the end will come today, because it could And woulda should will do no good, pushing daffodils What we stood for will outlive our passing thrills And maybe it's true Wisdom's learning how to make due with what we lose Which is everything eventually, everyone we'll ever see Every single destiny's ending and just a memory What we leave behind's the after life that exists Birthday candles blown out, every wish Every year put together couldn't save us from the tethers Of the sisters of fate deciding when to clip the feathers So forever is now - until the fight song Fades, goodnight, but live to keep the lights on [Hook] This is our moment Our one shot to be legend
 And nothing exists but this second
 All we can do is decide how to spend it (2x) [Verse 2] And this is how I'm spending mine? Moving back into the basement of my parent's house at 25? Boxes in the attic of the album I aint sold So the music turns to static on a quest to make gold Self deprecating, hating on myself, debating Whether self-medicating is an option for the taking Waiting round and breaking down as often as my car dies Only 5 years ago I dreamed about the stars lives That I idolized and knew I could make my once upon a time
 come true But then I got older with regrets to undo And a wishlist that grew longer than Rapunzel's hair Or the time it'd take to make the sun blue Or the cow to jump moon Or to stand in the Amazon and run through Or to learn how to beat Bruce Lee at Kung Fu Time to give up or try some new, you Can never make a change standing in place, or make Lines on the face erase without being fake The greats weren't great in the amniotic fluid The struggle they embraced, it gave a shot at pushing through it And they knew if they could do it then the truest form of spirit Grew without illusions of some Druids coming near it Cause it's clear if we depend on magic for our metamorphosis This is walking dead as a living corpse exist And I would spit on the graves of those who made me who I am If I don't take the shots to be the best me that I can And stand on my own two While I'm 6 feet above the world that I hold to "The old you's dead's" what my inner voice said And the phoenix only rises when the old bones shed "The new you's now" time to get up, get out Get moving, and make your past proud [Hook]
7.
01:46
[Verse 1] The rain's coming Storm's chasin, I'm not running I'm not done, and, my head's down Gaze on my feet floatin off the ground No sound, eyes closed Touch now, and I'd be free And I'm so tired that I can't sleep Look to the sky and die to count sheep, but I'm not fallin I'm slippin, but, I'm not fallen And I can hear the wolves callin Factory of shadows, see em all crawlin Stand tall in the stars silhouettes Hard little breath in these carved whittled steps Far from the rest and scarred from the test Start to the sunset west, but I’m swept away And I can’t stay But I don’t wanna leave, just breathe I’ll see you in my dreams You could have it all if you just believe Everything you need is anything that is Anything that was is dust the past gives Everything’s eventual, change is perpetual Stained with the fingerprints of ghosts, now your sentinels Let it go, I’ll be right here Always I’ll catch you, live with no fear And no shadow of a doubt With the fire inside you, just let it out
8.
04:41
[Hook] Never will fall, never will fly Never be able to make it alive Never will know when it's my time to go But until that day shows I will open my eyes Never will crawl, never will dive Never be able to see my demise Ending is up to the fates to decide And I leave no regrets in the shadow behind (2x) [Verse 1] This is life Rage against the dying of the light Balance on a tight-rope, threads, slowly sliced with a knife Find a way to navigate the mines and find happiness Defined as cutting ties with fear and living where our passion is Here, now, the moment's quickly passin' And no matter what we do our life is held ransom Asking what the meaning is, but we're the one whose questioned Lessons learned and finding answers, pass em on is our redemption Never restin, when moments test our poise Try to knock us down with suffering we can't avoid We make our choice, bow or keep our eyes up Give in, give up, and wave the flag or make our tragedy a triumph It's rarely easy, but truth is that we're all in need of the grind To give it purpose, what's freedom if we never know the bind? And there's no shackle, til sound of the gallows and gavel go strike Except what we give power to Nothing holds us from our flight Unless we let it. [Hook] [Verse 2] This is beautiful - even when it isn't And my limits make me stronger when I choose to fight against em No longer, and honor truth that I wander along the route On my own and I water roots when I'm showin how to lace boots And keep going, never slowing down, holding on until I've found What I live and what I fight for, what I'd gladly give my life for When I find my why I can handle any how I can sacrifice blood and sweat from the brow Freedom's the acceptance that the work is always endless And don't let this second guess the seconds spent until the day I exit Left or stage right - no time for stage fright No lines to memorize, just do my best to improvise In disguise I reside if I wear a mask of lies To try to hide my frightened eyes Blinded by the stars I idolize And try to be like Rewrite this foolish path to roam A sleep walking dead zombie living in the catacombs Destiny is only shown to those who've got the strength to face Their demons straight and see em break Beneath the weight of love we make Em free, and let go of waiting for the crystal ball Back against the wall will conquer nothing if you think you're small You are, but legends mark their own tarot cards Count the blessings till the endings dripping bone marrow hard It will be, again and again, but everything, everyone, everywhere passes And dreams are made awake, not waiting on a mattress Until we catch our train, moment-to-moment we capture and master this No Lazarus, there's no ever after after this
9.
[Verse 1: Cas One] They want fire? Well let em burn Ashes in my urn, past the passion of my work Like the passage of my journey made me a new Earth Fill it all to fill my cup and I won't ever give it up A man of wounds and cuts, reshaped, and made new And I paid dues with worn shoes walking on the lava Like no longer am I ever on or past the pity parties Fire in my arteries, make the world a part of me Vice versa, line the words that take the curtain off the person Feeling certain they determine won't burn up Oh, ain't no quitter in my go-getter Switch-hitter, bitter pill swallowed, I know, I know I won't ever go home Made my suit of armor out the road Now I feel there ain't nowhere else to go All the pieces of my soul got a reason that they glow I'm a phoenix in the snow, these chains will never hold [Hook: Bodi & Cas One] Take the dark out the light Bring a fire to the night Let the demons dance, I’m never giving up the fight If it’s wrong make it right Til I’m gone I’ll ignite An inferno in my eyes and it’s never gonna die [Verse 2: Bodi] I’ve only got two options Keep walking or dream on watching As the world pass by and I’m sitting here talking About a change coming, it won’t if I’m stopping Aint no time to reload It’s a one shot deal, kid, welcome to the show Used to go victimize bruises and lumps And, stand there lookin off the cliff like jump But when the camera roll go flicker Better make the most of the final motion picture No time to waste bein pissed at the cards I was dealt Blamin others for the scars I felt Part of myself hid the belt, givin welts Burned without seeing other hearts I melt Cheating ex-girlfriends the reason I got no trust People doubting me the reason I got no guts And no glory but the stories mine alone I can revise it fore I write it in stone Fire, re-ignite it, light the path shown Walk among the constellation map til I’m back home Backbone’s no stronger through the slouching Head hangin, finger pointin, or the doubting So what you sittin on? What you aimin at? Fate’s trapped and it’s my turn to take it back [Bridge: Bodi] If I can’t make it out alive Then I will leave it all behind And hold my head and chin up high Until the day I waive goodbye And fade into the other side And find a final piece of mind My fears will never be my guide And I will never hide [Verse 3: Bodi] So let’s strip away the bones and the skin And the old jaded grin And the grim simple truth that I won’t begin again And win or lose don’t matter none, when it’s all said and done The breath in the lungs, and steps that I’ve run Go up and away, and set with the sun I’m left with the one thing left to decide What type of man I’ve become and soul that I was Can hold to a grudge or shoulder and trudge A molder of boulder til run out of blood But I aint waiting for the perfect shot Draw, fire, aim, til the fucking wheels fall off [Verse 4: Cas One] And the deal's all off, kid, built the house alone Cross my motherfucking bones on that long walk home No thrones, no hopes, no idea where the story goes Skeletons on my road journey got some soul Behold that pale horse that burns the house down The ghost of my former self now, kneel down For the world now, like the motherfucking crowns Got pushed down the queen's mouth, bleed on out [Hook]
10.
[Verse 1: Bodi] Until the day I'm pushing daffodils, I have to fill my cup And trust in love that busts the seams until my chest erupts And plucks my heart into a symphony that won't give up Ashes to magic and bones to dust I love this crust I'm standin on, until dawn sings a tragic song And when it's gone I'll move along, but I won't find a greener lawn Than what's here atop this sphere - we're movin through the years Fear of living now and here, when life pass, don't steer clear Crack a beer and give yourself a toast It's the journey of a lifetime - you play the host Eternally a peasant, that's cause I go for broke In hopes of painting stars in sky, to pierce the smoke And I can't die, life and I have chosen to elope I wrote an epitaph in snares and claps to get myself to cope And in the ever after I can't get myself to float Unless I'm giving other children safety vests of hope [Hook: Murder Dice] Until the sun burns out in the sky I'm that goddamn thorn in your side Fire in my eyes, you can't see I would save you if you'd just let me [Verse 2: Bodi] The fact is my happiness comes after matching Lazarus In craftiness I practice this static blasting magicness And match it with an ass to kiss from lady luck on mattresses Cause rappin is my stackin chips, and manifestin happiness Ask me if my passion is available for purchase My assurance is it's furnished with nothing but the worthless Grab a surface you can work with, paint a picture perfect When the hearse is perched with purpose - you have to give the verdict Judge and jury, have mercy, we hurry to the grave And sell our souls along the way so road to gold is paved Stake my claim inside this frame that we proclaim's a masterpiece Horns on half these battered thieves and halos on these master chiefs Who seek a piece of heaven, reaching for that preacher's blessin I see angels every day that I go to the sev-eleven Steppin through the paradise, god don't have a hand in scriptin We spread our wings when we give out a hand for liftin
11.
[Verse 1: Bodi] I was 8 years old when I first killed a man It was either me or him with machete in my hand I'd tell you more but you wouldn't understand A grown man once a lost boy of Sudan Who ran past the devil's lines drawn in the sand And god never had a part in the plan .Saw the sky fall on my own land Never learned to crawl before I had to stand up and run On horseback they came to my village Killed dad, raped mom, looted and pillaged Held a gun to my sister and said that they'd shoot If I didn't join their cause as a troop, so What could I do? I remained loyal As we moved north where someone had oil They kept saying that the enemy was them Khartoum, UN, JEM, but All I wanted to do was survive And one day see my little sister's shining eyes So I die on this side of the knife And that's life…(that's life…that's life…that's life...) [Hook: Ebenezer Children's Orphanage] I am beautiful I love you I am beautiful Uhuru (Freedom) [Verse 2: Dice] Happy family, I remember my siblings and how we play There was so much love til my daddy passed away That's when mommy changed, sad mommy stayed Crying all day, yelling with her voice raised Drunk in a daze eyes glazed, lost in deep thought Sold me to a strange man just to pay the lease off Beaten and raped by any who payed the three bucks They hurt me mommy, burnt me mommy, left me locked Sold my body, lost my soul, forgot free thought One after another, disease and suffering please god Take this pain away, this is not the life I want I'd rather die here than lie here with these Johns My clothes tattered, my spirit broke shattered No man alive can save me from what has happened Police captains take no action Pockets have been fattened, American greed has them I miss you mommy. Will anyone ever love me again? Hook [Verse 3: Bodi] Six months old in the slums of Kibera But wait - let me paint it clearer Millions like me living in tents Paper bag bathrooms thrown across the fence An orphan - both parents in the grave Mom and dad both victims of AIDS I never knew em but their blood is in me Fate sewn closed spelled HIV A woman with a heart as big as the ocean And the sun took me in, made her house open To me and thirty kids in the same position Die to make a livin in the only conditions We've ever known, never shown any sad tears Truth is I'm thankful just to be here Even if the odds are I won't make it To 10, for granted, my time I'll never take it And when the end comes with a smile and a nod Is how I'll reunite with my parents and god My name's Kefa, this is my story You may forget me, but please don't ignore me
12.
02:17
[Verse 1: Bodi] Never let em down? Now how's that sound? Who you gonna hold if you can't see the ground? How you gonna stand up if you were built to fall? How you think you're gonna soar, hoping you're not gonna stall? All alone. Born to roam Borders sewn off from each other, call it home Go and try to mend the sand, but who you think will give a damn Let the waves break, and Let the tide take, you Out of the race, erased You escape to- Night, underneath moon Light, you can see whose Might's gonna reach to Heights you can't leap to Fright, that's what keeps you Right, where you think you Like, but the flight-fight eats you alive And you can't decide whether you should speak or stand or run Or hold your tongue or reach the end, defend or lend a hand or gun And you've become everything you said you wouldn't And you can't hold the world because you never understood it Crooked little smile that you aim At the man in the mirror framed where you place the blame Foolish, little useless, simple-minded you believed That you could breath and change the world before it came your time to leave And see the hands of fate and stack the deck against it, it's naive That you could call a bluff on lady luck with ace inside her sleeve Who you think you are, talking to your shadow? Try to save a world, locked in a civil battle Gallows overpopulated, preaching to the congregated Converted is how sense is made Of flags turned to army blankets Weightless, cause you can't hold your own And soon all you are is a name on a stone Cold case close, tagged toes, made those choices Solo, maybe you should listen to the voices Rattling around inside of your head Who you think will care in the end when you've fled? Less self or selfish, it's high-time you learn As the flames rage, you'll watch em all burn
13.
03:01
[Verse 1: Bodi] Well well…its been a minute Since we kicked it, how's your life? Have you found out how to live it? Are you waiting for some footsteps to follow to begin it? Have you finally realized you're a normal dude with limits? Alex: Who you kiddin? You ain't a kid no more So your'e only growing older, what you got that ego for? Seeking more validation than a parking lot So you're taking more cuts than a barbershop And um...It's kind of hard not to judge you Pushed away almost everyone whose loved you Then you run to your pen and pad confessional Put on the headphones, and crank up the decibels Go between heart on sleeve and treating words like ventricles And acting like you got the biggest pair of brass testicles What you done to help the world you say you'd die for A cyborg behind your glass house, eyesore Who you think you save with these little rap records? Acting like you're jesus in a world trapped lepers Never know better than to sever connections Tether those feathers to the ground for protection Used to dream big now you don't get outta bed Til the sun comes and it's half way to the end Someday you'll give it all up finally your skin will go rust Finding what little you trust now turns into dust Ignore it all you want, it's the truth Look into the mirror to your soul's window proof The noose is growing tighter, you can try to wrestle me But even as a fighter I will bring you down eventually Down to your knees, how will you breathe In gasps let it rattle, you think you'll win the battle? Free them demons peep some freedom, leave em all behind don’t need em Piece em like a puzzle read em, like a book and see em all shook up? Nah I don't think so Aim high swing low, sweet chariot rolls Ruin what you’re touchin Mr. Rogue you’re turnin somethin Into nothin it’s disgustin now you’re rushin to the finish line Hook sinker – look deeper You’ll see you’re nothin special just a bag of bones and chromosomes A protozoan evolved and grown who made a home a page of poems And make it known you fake it lone til date and name engrave the stone What you think, I'm a devil on your shoulder? If that's the case where's the other one to keep the order? I'm in your head, in your brain, in your consciousness You know there's only one way for stopping this How about giving a Kalashnikov a kiss? Or drawing an X with a knife across your wrist? But wait - since you know I exist You can see I'm not you and make me powerless, shit Listen - I said listen to me You can't shut me out I will bring you down, I will bring you down now (yeah) Don't go on a mission to see The beauty that resides in the eyes of your neighbor Or the love in your life that might be your savior Or the reason you were born to spread your message onto paper OK fine, you win this time, but I'll see you later I'll see you later
14.
03:45
[Verse 1: Bodi] I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be waking up Next to you and see your open eyes, smilin makin love Guess it's true angels float from heaven, there's a god above Blessings too many for one man to count, it's you who pulled me through The darkest days and carved a way for me to paradise And I used to think my life depended on a pair of dice Or fate or chance or dance with lady luck and then I felt your touch And brushed with greatness that we make with faith and trust inside our clutch And every day the sun was shinin, proved to me I'm not an island Smilin like a little kid who would've been just fine with dyin Cause I would've already lived inside a dream Wouldn't need to see what the after life brings Every day and every hour, every minute, every second Every thought and every heartbeat, every moment made me breathless That all left without saying goodbye This is what it feels like to wish that you'd die [Verse 2: Bodi] I arrived back home a day earlier than I was supposed to Surprise and propose to you/With the ring in my pocket Your car in the driveway, to the door, unlock it Palms sweaty, got your parent's blessing Fumblin over words and how I'd pop the question True love, with no second-guessing In sickness and in health, from the living to the restin Came to when I called out your name But didn't hear an answer, all I heard was laughter In the bedroom, soft music played Tip toeing up, the mistake that I made Was believing you loved me, and opening the door You and your ex, your clothes on the floor My heart and my head and my world split in two Put the ring in the trash and, you never knew… [Verse 3: Bodi] Fuck you, and everything you ever said You never meant, heartless, I wonder if you've ever bled Or if you've got a hole where your spirit’s supposed to go Don't got a soul And mouth full of coal And lies white as snow Guess hell must've froze Over - so you had to escape And crawl to this surface, to shatter my faith In a disastrous way that there's a different fate For love than our lives, but I guess it all ends… You tried to make amends, but I didn't see the point If you're a demon devil dancing, greatest trick, and made your choice And your bed, sleep in it, but I hope you never dream All I have are nightmares of buying you a wedding ring I would gave you everything and made god blue Karma's got a bite like déjà vu But I never knew it would happen so soon To you, I hope this burns like the summer sun in June See when the two of you got back together I thought about killing myself, but knew better Than to end it like that, and I wanted revenge And to make you look evil in front of your friends But I got a better plan when I was getting coffee and I saw your man was with another woman, they were holding hands So I grabbed the camera on my phone and started taking pictures Til they got up, I followed quiet as a whisper To a house, he looked around, and they went inside And started fucking in the bedroom and didn't close the blinds Have you figured the surprise in the envelope? Go ahead an open it, this letter that I wrote Was to show you what it felt like when you went and broke My chest and my hope, and now you'll feel it, too And now you know the truth, and I know it hurts And I apologize that you got what you deserve
15.
[Verse 1: Bodi] I never meant to hurt you No intent to bring you down or desert you If I'd known the choice I made The same that sends cats to their grave Had given you everything you never wanted I would’ve killed curiosity, I promise But I let the monsters surface Hope left closed, I'm looking for a purpose I'd be the out cause if I could Erase me with the flaws where I stood Spend days working to correct Everything left in the caves of my chest, I'm Walking til my feet are broken, talking til my speech is golden Knocking but the doors will open, only when my tongue is frozen Hopin but I'm floatin never, wrote inside these storms I've weathered Chokin on these smokin embers, cold as winter’s rose December Feathers never on my back, see the snowfall fade to black Grasp as the seconds pass, relapse into aftermath Master class on fractured past, plaster caste to tragic mask Laughing last disaster tracks me back to house of shattered glass Crash down, but made no sound Homeward bound through a one horse ghost town Toast the ground that boasted a crown Found broken bottles hollow like regrets I model El Diablo’s probably coming for me next So my steps burn shadows in the valley of death I guess it's for the best that I move on now Bow then it's curtains and go and join the crowd How will this end, or does it really ever? Coda with the stars, my atoms are forever Remember that we sew with the same cloth That we're cut from, so remain when the frame's lost Remain when the frame's lost Remember that we sew with the same cloth That we're cut from, so remain when the frame's lost
16.
04:12
[Verse 1: Bodi] You rise then you fall You fly till you crawl And you can't stand on your own two Unless somebody holds you up So give up So give up [Verse 2: Bodi] Think of jumping overboard cause life has given no accord Sink and slice and cut the cord and sever ties with what you stored And you adored and move on toward the edge is just a little more What you holding on there for the waves can take you from the shore Say no more, let the gray overtake you You always knew one day this would break you What you waiting for, a thank you? Move on No one ever cared, and no one will when you're gone This is long overdue Said you'd always be here, but who you trying to fool? You can see the writing on the wall speaking tongues How much longer can you go with those old creaking lungs? Walk toward the sun, evaporate with the wind Your work here is done stubborn little emo kid The world will go on, without you, it'll be lighter And have one less preacher to the choir Blowing smoke from your funeral pyre Maybe that'll finally lift some wings a little higher The end is here to stay, maybe not what you desired But shh…close your eyes.
You look a little tired [Verse 3: Bodi] And what have you done? What kind of man have you become? What have you done? What kind of man have you become? And you can try to run away But the devils that you face won't fade, yeah You can try to run away But they'll all catch up with you some way You've got to make a change
17.
04:49
[Verse Annotate1: Bodi] I love life to death, and til the day that I rest Every breath in my chest will give my best to the blessed Souls, who don't know what they've got til it's ghost Yesterday's smoke's broke by tomorrow's hope They stand tall in the shadows of giants Til the moment in the sun when they're touched by Midas Walk no fear in the den of the lions If I can't live like I'm dyin I'll die tryin' From my perch under Earth, I've seen the death and the birth Angels falling to dirt when they don't know their true worth Burst courage and faith when best turns to worst Kingdoms fall from heaven when their kings are placed first Beginning to the end - cradle to the hearse Forced to watch it all - I guess that's my curse If a tree falls lone, then there isn't a sound If Atlas falls, there isn't a ground [Hook: Bodi] And I can't give up and can't see them fall And we evolved from dust into this free for all Can't give up and can't see them fall And we evolved from dust into this free for all (2x) [Verse 2: Bodi] All I ever wanted was to live in the moment A single second on this sphere without the worry to hold it No more promises broken, no more innocence stolen No more floatin on hope when the present is golden I can't turn my back when I see the palms open I'll let this break me down before I hear more psalms spoken Leave destiny to everyone for findin' If I can't live like I'm dyin I'll die tryin' When the chisel and stone found the gristle and bone Humanity's tapestry once sewn was blown Alone and on their own carving borders out of home In the face of mercy shown barking orders from the throne I tried to hide the diatribe that only divides And shine a light on broken battle cries to visualize the blind Opened Pandora's Box, there’s nothing inside I'm lost and I know she's got something to hide [Hook] [Verse 3: Bodi] It's the beauty in the struggle that validates the trouble From the photographs of Hubble back to Babylon's rubble The strongest muscle in the body is the heart And that's the only thing that makes it not fall apart When the march to compassion overtakes passive action Dreams manifest and cease to be imagined The journey never ends and the long road's windin' If I can't live like I'm dyin I'll die tryin' When the stars turn to dust and the sky falls down And the last stand proud in a mushroom cloud The past voices settle in eternity's echoes The ground cover's smothered with the finals rose petals I'll be right here in the same place Cause at the end of the day we're all saved by grace When history's erased, my memory of love And human compassion is the reason I won't shrug [Hook]
18.
[Intro] When people speak at funerals I usually like to be sitting in the back That way when the sentimentality kicks in I can get to the door quickly to vomit I've always felt if you've got something to say Spit it out while the bastard's still alive dammit [Verse 1: Bodi] I never thought the time would come when I'd be runnin outta time To find the meaning in the grand design before I'm in a box of pine Put my nose to grind, if it sets the globe atop my spine, it’s What I chose it's fine, if it turns my back to serpentine I'd be cool. Look it's hard enough To make it through without another makin carbon dust Tryna bring you down, so I die to lift you up An ugly duck tryna smooth the ride (buckle up, but…) I clutch fear like a gear shift And hear this chorus crying help until my ears split If I can steer this just a little more to positive I'd go a happy man, achieving one accomplishment And that's the truth. Despite the mellow drama End this love letter dear world, comma Thank you for the chance to do right You're the reason that this kid is breathin new life [Hook: Kristoff Krane] Everything and Everyone I’ve ever loved I love. Are living on and never gone and pumping through my Blood [Verse 2: Kristoff Krane] I can't imagine the position you were in to see me pissin in the wind When I was fishin for a fix instead of kissing you Instead of dealing with the pain the pain of missing my best friend I lead myself into a big brickwall and bashed my selfhish head… To see the person that you love the most detaching from their spirit Knowing theres an inner voice but right now they won't hear it… Grips my throat with angry hands and rings the neck that’s deep In lost connection till my feeet are grounded in the grief- infection- These moments only last for as long as we can make em A portal to the past through the photographs we’ve taken Each breathe I take reveals a memory into a cloud Under a sun where you can hear the sky and ocean cry outloud—I’m sacred The lessons I’ve been trying to teach Are ones that I have yet to learn-face it, when you’re high-you sink The older that I get the younger that I feel The less I have to say and the more that I know I know how to heal [Hook] [Verse 3: Kristoff Krane] Give me a seed, I'll show you how to cherish it Find the dirtiest soil, dig a hole, and bury it I no longer need a therapist I'll just cry all winter on my own come back to the spring and there it is I'm just a shadow in the wounded shell Growing up a spiral staircase I know the life that cycle very well A Carbon Carousel from miracles to funerals She gave it all of her heart and he left us with some truth to hold What a beautiful existence From every lunar eclipse I've witnessed to every open wound I'm still licking There's no difference between neural imprints And the way that I see the external world appear as an image Now I talk to myself from the perspective of God I know that I'm right when I bet that I'm wrong From death and beyond to the breath in my lungs Every friend that I've lost becomes the red in my blood [Verse 4: Jean Grae] I mean everything that I've done, I mean everything that I've been Baby every man that I've loved, maybe I've been loving through sin Maybe I just love to be loved, then again not love from within But I love every part of me artery skin But the heart of me's mine My veins are just lined up to my face and my body Which are basically copies of the base on the knowledge to the basics of body So it really means nothing when I'm gone don't mourn Jeanie Just release me a song when I'm on you'll all see me I'm infinitely infamous, this shell is an incident Shit I'm held build that fits compelled to the realest spit I'mma writer of fate denied of a daily departure I'm the ride you can take when thinking whats to go farther Yes further take liberties with words and symmetry And I do paint vividly this world's identity And I can't Hilary shit like it was deserved to me And I'll never accept respect if it ain't earned by me [Verse 5: Bodi] Tough though it is, it's a beautiful struggle worth Every ounce of muscle til the six feet of shoveled dirt Til the hearse marches us to mother earth Carried by the ones that we love til the bubble burst Perched on a razor's edge, learn To walk the fine line intertwinin death and birth Search for a cure to reverse the worst curse Certain nothing's worse than watching others leave first Picture perfect world, well maybe not But we got what we got until it all stops Life is a quiz popped on us as kids And when we learn to die's when we learn how to live And if it's true that the molecules spinnin Inside of us have been around us since the beginning Then everything and everyone that we've ever loved Are livin on and never gone and pumpin through our blood

credits

released March 3, 2013

Album & All Songs Published by Elephant Memories Publishing (ASCAP).
All Songs Recorded by Bodi at The Elephant Room - Fort Collins, CO & Libby, MT.
All Tracks Mixed by Graham O'Brien, Except:
Atlas, Epilogue, Clotho Mixed by Adam Krinsky.
Lachesis Mixed by Adam Krinsky & Bodi.
Parode and . Mixed by Bodi.
Atropos Mixed by Fytch.

Mastered by Greg Reierson at Rare Form Mastering, Minneapolis, MN.

Cover Artwork by Jason Pitman
Cover Coloration & Post by Dominic "Doctype" Sandoval
Album Layout & Artwork by Dominic "Doctype" Sandoval

Production:
Tracks 1, 3, 16 produced by Abstrakt
Tracks 2, 8, 10, 12 produced by Captain Midnite
Tracks 4 and 9 produced by Ill Pill
Track 5 produced by Lonely Giant Spaces
Tracks 6 and 15 produced by Bodi
Track 7 produced by Fytch
Track 11 produced by Doctype and Bodi
Track 13 produced by Doctype
Track 14 produced by Emancipator
Track 17 produced by Figure

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Bodi Washington

Bodi, formerly Alexipharmic, has been making music since he started watching YO! MTV Raps in Cookie Monster pajamas. He has toured the United States several times, made tracks with Eyedea, P.O.S., Emancipator, Budo, Kristoff Krane, and performed with many more. 50% of all his album and merch sales are donated to Mercy Corps' relief efforts in the Congo. He loves you, them, and sometimes himself. ... more

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